Night Train to Murder Read online

  There was a pause as everyone considered that, and then all three of them started nodding as they realized that made sense.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Rupert. ‘Oh, God, I’m so sorry. Of course you’re right. It was just … Once I got the idea in my head, I couldn’t get rid of it. And it finally felt as if there was something I could do …’

  ‘Now that’s a feeling I can appreciate,’ I said. ‘But even if you had pulled the cord, it wouldn’t have made any difference.’

  ‘Why not?’ Sita said immediately.

  ‘Because this is a special express,’ I said. ‘The driver has strict instructions not to stop for anything.’

  Rupert looked at me disbelievingly. ‘But … what if we really needed to stop? What if there was a medical emergency?’

  ‘I didn’t hurt you that badly,’ I said.

  ‘You know what I mean! What if the killer decided to strike again, and one of us got hurt?’

  They all saw the answer to that in my face.

  ‘Typical security,’ Sita said bitterly. ‘You people don’t give a damn what happens to the innocent bystanders, as long as you get your man.’

  ‘As long as the killer is still on the loose, we’re all in danger,’ I said steadily. ‘By concentrating on finding him, I’m working to protect all of you.’

  ‘You’d say anything, wouldn’t you?’ Rupert said sullenly. ‘To get us to do what you want.’

  Penny hurried down the aisle and knelt beside him. ‘Would you like me to sit with you, Rupert? Keep you company, till you’ve calmed down a bit?’

  ‘I’d rather be on my own,’ he said stiffly. ‘I don’t trust you. Either of you. My private life is my business, and if I don’t want to talk about it, I shouldn’t have to. You have no right to bully me! Nothing that’s happened on this train is anything to do with me, and I don’t want anything to do with it.’

  He turned away and stared determinedly out of the window at the darkness beyond. Sita applauded loudly, and Howard looked as if he wanted to. Penny stood up and looked at me. I shrugged, and we walked back to our seats.

  ‘What was it you were going to ask him?’ said Penny.

  ‘Nothing worth upsetting him that much. I just wanted to check whether his boyfriend might be connected to Sir Dennis in some way.’

  ‘That’s a bit of a long shot, isn’t it?’

  ‘It’s not as if we have any other leads worth pursuing.’

  Penny lowered her voice. ‘If the communication cord wouldn’t work, why did you have to go to such lengths to prevent Rupert from pulling it?’

  ‘Because I couldn’t be sure that the driver really would ignore an actual emergency call,’ I said quietly. ‘At least now we can be certain that none of the others will try it.’

  Penny looked at me sharply. ‘That’s cold, Ishmael.’

  I shrugged. ‘Rupert isn’t the only one who’s feeling a bit frustrated. Look, why don’t you go and sit with Sita for a bit? See what you can get out of her, when I’m not there for her to disapprove of. I’ll have another word with Howard. I have a feeling he might open up a bit more if it’s just me.’

  ‘What am I supposed to say to Sita?’ said Penny.

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Girl talk?’ I caught the expression forming on Penny’s face and hurried on. ‘I’ve been wondering whether she was supposed to overhear all that political stuff at Westminster. See if the same thought had occurred to her, and if so, how much of it she thinks we can trust.’

  Penny nodded reluctantly and went over to Sita. The young journalist scowled at her suspiciously, but grudgingly allowed Penny to sit down. I left them to it and went to stand next to Howard. He looked up at me wearily.

  ‘What now, Mr Jones?’

  ‘Just a few more questions,’ I said. ‘Shall we move down the aisle a little, away from curious ears?’

  Howard nodded resignedly and got to his feet. Of all the people in the carriage, he struck me as the least affected by everything that had happened. He didn’t even appear that bothered about being questioned again. We made our way further along the aisle and sat down opposite each other, and he looked at me as though he was just waiting for this new intrusion to be over, so he could go back to thinking about whatever it was that was so important to him.

  ‘Won’t Penny be joining us this time?’ said Howard. ‘I like Penny.’

  ‘She’s very likeable,’ I said. ‘I thought you and I should have a quiet word on our own, Howard, because sometimes we can say things to a stranger that we could never say to anyone we know. As long as there aren’t any witnesses.’

  He just looked at me.

  ‘You’re keeping something from me, Howard,’ I said. ‘And I need to know what it is.’

  He managed a small smile. ‘I would have thought everyone in this compartment was keeping something from you.’

  I nodded, acknowledging the point. ‘I need to find out what it is you’re concealing from me, Howard, if only so I can stop worrying about it.’

  ‘But what if it’s something I don’t want to talk about?’ said Howard, meeting my gaze unflinchingly. ‘What if it’s just none of your business?’

  ‘In a murder enquiry, everything has to be my business,’ I said. ‘Because I can never be sure what might turn out to be connected to the killer or their motivations. Look, if your secret really does turn out to be nothing to do with what’s going on here, I promise I’ll keep it strictly to myself. I won’t even tell Penny.’

  Howard sat stiffly in his seat, completely unmoved. ‘I have nothing to say to you. And there’s nothing you can threaten me with, Mr Security Man Jones. I’m not afraid of you, or whatever authorities you really represent.’

  ‘No,’ I said, ‘you really aren’t, are you? And that … is interesting. Everyone else is at least a bit intimidated by me, or the thought of whom I might represent. And they’re all more than a bit worried that one of their fellow passengers might turn out to be the murderer. But you don’t even give a damn about that, do you, Howard?’

  He shrugged. ‘I didn’t see or hear anything. I’m not a suspect or a witness. None of this is anything to do with me.’

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘That’s not it. That’s not why you’re so … unconnected from everything that’s going on.’

  ‘I just want to be left alone,’ said Howard.

  ‘That’s what everyone wants,’ I said. ‘Unfortunately, the situation doesn’t give a damn what we want. I have to get to the truth or the murderer could get away, and I can’t let that happen.’

  He shrugged again. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘I really don’t think you are. I don’t think any of this affects you in the least, Howard, because you’re only thinking about one thing.’

  He stared back at me, saying nothing. I sat back in my seat and considered him carefully. Howard was holding himself perfectly still, and had been ever since he sat down. Not because he was worried or hostile … but because it was taking all his strength and concentration to hold himself together, so he wouldn’t give anything away.

  ‘What could be so important,’ I said finally, ‘that you’re ready to let a cold-blooded killer escape rather than talk about it? Perhaps I should have brought Penny with me after all; she’s the one with the people skills. But you see, Howard, I have the advantage that comes from being an outsider. I’ve spent most of my life pretending to be just like everyone else, when I’m really not. And I’ve put so much effort into constructing an everyday mask to hide behind that I’ve learned to see past everyone else’s. So what have I learned, Howard, from studying you?

  ‘You don’t care that Sir Dennis was killed. You don’t care about my questions. You’re not scared of the murderer or the situation you’re in, which makes you unique in this compartment. Add to that … your mind is always somewhere else, preoccupied with something you’re planning to do, once you get to Bath. The one time you stood up to me was when you were concerned you might not get there on time. So I have to w
onder, Howard, what could be so important to you that you can’t think of anything else, even when your life could be in danger?’

  Howard met my gaze steadily, his face completely unmoved. We might have been talking about the weather.

  ‘It’s just something I have to do,’ he said.

  ‘And what then?’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘What will you do after you’ve done this very important thing, Howard?’

  He seemed genuinely lost for words for a moment. In the end, he just produced another of his shrugs.

  ‘Then … it’ll be done. I won’t have to think about it any more.’

  ‘Ah …’ I said. ‘I was afraid of that. I’m sorry, Howard, but you’re really not very good at concealing the truth, while I am very good at getting to the bottom of things. Now I’ve put all the clues together, there is only one conclusion that makes sense. Tell me, Howard, how long have you been planning to kill yourself?’

  His eyes opened wide, and his jaw dropped as though he’d been hit. And then he let out all his breath in a long sigh and slumped back in his seat as all the strength went out of him. He looked suddenly older, and worn out, as though I’d kicked away the last crutch that had been holding him up. He smiled at me tiredly, with perhaps just a little bit of relief in it, now he no longer had to pretend.

  ‘Oh, hell … why not? Why not tell the truth and shame the devil? What difference can it make? What does any of it matter now?’ He nodded to himself for a moment, gathering his thoughts, and then he leaned forward and fixed me with a defiant look.

  ‘I haven’t been entirely honest with you, because I didn’t think my life was any of your business. But you’re never going to leave any of us alone until you’ve revealed all our secrets. And to hell with who it hurts. Very well, then; this is my secret. And damn you to hell for making me say it.

  ‘My wife is dead. I lost my Annie when I lost my job, because of Sir Dennis and his interference. I didn’t find another job, because it turned out there was a glut of people like me on the market, and most of the others were a lot younger than me. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t know anything else.

  ‘We ran through our savings in under a year. We were going to lose the house. Annie loved that house. It was all we had; she never wanted children. She died at the end of last year. She wasn’t ill; I think by then she was just so tired, and so frightened of the future, that she simply decided she didn’t want to live any more. I blame myself for her death. I promised Annie I’d always look after her, and I didn’t.’

  ‘So that’s why you got on this train?’ I said. ‘To confront Sir Dennis, the man responsible for your wife’s death.’

  Howard looked at me as though I was mad. ‘No. I didn’t know he was going to be here. I’m going to Bath so I can go back to the hotel where Annie and I spent our honeymoon, all those years ago. I was able to book the very same room. We were so happy then. We had no idea how our lives were going to turn out. I’m going to sit in that room, look out at the view and then kill myself. Because that’s the only way I can be with her again.’

  He glared at me openly, defying me to feel sorry for him. ‘Do you want to see my bottle of pills? Or the razor blade?’

  He undid his left cuff and pulled back his jacket and shirt sleeve, to show me his forearm. It was covered with cut marks. Some were old, little more than scars, while the most recent were still red and angry. None of them were more than two or three inches long, criss-crossing each other in a vicious, ugly pattern. Howard turned his arm back and forth, to make sure I got a good look.

  ‘The technical term is self-harming, but I like to think of them as practice. Learning how much willpower and self-control it takes to cut into your own skin. To not care about the pain or mind about the blood. I went online first, to check out the details. There are all kinds of helpful sites. Did you know that if you cut across your wrists, there’s always the chance your blood will clot and keep you alive long enough for some well-meaning fool to save you? If you want to be sure – I mean really sure – you have to cut the length of the vein from the wrist up to the elbow. No one’s going to save you after that. And I don’t want to be saved.’

  He pulled his shirt and jacket sleeves back down and looked at me coldly.

  ‘I would prefer to go out peacefully, with some dignity, but one way or another I’m going. You want to know what I was writing on my laptop? My suicide note. It’s harder than you think to sum up a lifetime’s regrets in just a few words. In the end, all I had was that I just don’t want to do this any more.’

  Howard finally ground to a halt and fixed me with a burning gaze, demanding a response.

  ‘You can’t just give up,’ I said finally. ‘Life can always surprise you.’

  ‘Take your platitudes and shove them,’ said Howard. ‘You know, it’s actually very liberating when you decide your life is over … You don’t have to give a shit what anyone thinks. All that matters is that I’m going to be with my wife again, and you can’t stop me!’

  I looked around the compartment. Everyone was staring at us. Howard’s voice had risen to the point where they couldn’t help but overhear. Penny was already hurrying down the aisle to join us. I was relieved. I had no idea what to say to Howard. Penny crouched down beside him.

  ‘What was your wife’s name, Howard?’ she said quietly.

  ‘Annie,’ he said.

  ‘Is this … what you’re planning to do … is this what Annie would have wanted you to do?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Howard. ‘And I don’t care.’

  And then he started crying and couldn’t stop. Penny put a comforting arm across his shoulders.

  ‘Let it out, Howard,’ she said gently. ‘And we’ll give you some time alone. I need to talk to Ishmael, but we won’t be far away if you need anything.’

  Howard just nodded. I think we all knew he was past the point where even the most well-meant words of comfort would help. I got up out of my seat, and Penny and I moved off down the aisle.

  ‘Are you all right?’ she said quietly.

  ‘Not really,’ I said. ‘You know that wasn’t what I wanted.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘I didn’t pressure him into a confession,’ I said. ‘I just worked it out, by listening to what he didn’t say.’

  Penny shook her head. ‘You’re good at getting to the truth, Ishmael, but you don’t always think enough about the collateral damage.’

  ‘We’re running out of time,’ I said. ‘And we still aren’t any nearer working out who the murderer is.’

  ‘I think we can safely assume it isn’t Howard,’ said Penny.

  ‘Can we?’ I said. ‘Who’d make a better killer than a man who honestly doesn’t care whether or not he gets caught?’

  ‘You don’t really mean that, Ishmael.’

  I nodded reluctantly. ‘Either he’s the best actor I’ve ever seen or he’s in no fit state to commit a murder. And I don’t think anyone’s that good an actor.’

  ‘You won’t get any more out of him for a while,’ said Penny. ‘Poor man. Maybe we can get him some help when we get to Bath.’

  I shook my head helplessly. ‘Every time I figure out what one of our suspects is keeping from us, it turns out to be nothing to do with Sir Dennis or his killer.’

  ‘There is one person left that you haven’t talked to,’ said Penny.

  She nodded at Brian, still standing guard at the door and glaring suspiciously at everyone else.

  ‘I know,’ I said. ‘I’ve been putting it off, because once I’ve talked to him … I don’t have anywhere else to go.’

  ‘Talk to the man,’ said Penny. ‘He must know something.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure he knows something,’ I said. ‘But what are the odds it’ll turn out to be anything useful?’

  Penny looked at me, not quite smiling. ‘Do you want me to come with you and hold your hand?’

  ‘Better not,’ I said. ‘He wouldn’t respec
t me then.’

  ‘I’m not sure he does now,’ said Penny.

  I made my way down the aisle. Brian saw me coming, and his scowl actually deepened. I gestured for him to stand aside, so I could look through the glass partition in the door. He did so reluctantly, as though in giving up his position he was surrendering what little authority he had left. I stared through the vestibule to the darkness in the next carriage, reassuring myself we were still cut off from the rest of the train.

  ‘There’s no one out there,’ said Brian. ‘I’ve been keeping an eye. Can I be blunt, Mr Special Bodyguard?’

  I turned back to face him. ‘I’d be shocked if you were anything else.’

  I could see he was disappointed that I hadn’t objected, so he could justify being angry with me. I gave him my most polite smile, just to annoy him.

  ‘What’s on your mind, Brian?’

  ‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said. ‘I’ve been a military policeman for almost eight years now, and I’ve seen enough evil in men that I really can’t bring myself to buy into any of this psychic nonsense. What I saw on the cover of Sir Dennis’s file must have been code for something else, and I think it’s about time you told me what. I need to know what’s really going on, so I know what to look for.’

  ‘Sorry, Brian,’ I said. ‘Sometimes … things just are what they are, whether we want them to be or not.’

  ‘Don’t feed me that bullshit!’ Brian said loudly. ‘If you don’t want to tell me the truth, you don’t have to, but don’t insult my intelligence.’

  ‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ I said. ‘Can we talk about Sir Dennis now?’

  He glowered at me fiercely. ‘You’ve talked to everyone else and got nowhere, so now you’re left talking to me. But I did everything I was supposed to. Sir Dennis only died because he was stupid enough to ignore his own bodyguard! You’re not pinning anything on me, just because you can’t find the real murderer!’

  He lashed out at me so suddenly that I honestly didn’t see it coming. My reflexes sent me stumbling backwards the moment he started moving, but the punch still hit my nose hard enough to drive my head back. I raised my hands to defend myself and only then realized that Brian had lost all interest in attacking me. His face had gone deathly pale, and his eyes were wide with shock.