The Best Thing You Can Steal Read online

  The compass vibrated in my hand, and when I turned, the door was already opening. A glamorous redhead came through first, wearing too much makeup and a silver lamé evening dress that she still somehow managed to make look cheap. She was hanging on the arm of a large brutal figure in an expensive suit that I just knew he didn’t appreciate.

  Danny Page … businessman, entrepreneur and thug about town. Very definitely married to someone other than the redhead. I quietly put away the compass and stepped back from the counter.

  Danny looked disdainfully around the shop. I was pretty sure that was his default expression. His scowl deepened as he looked at me. Whatever had brought Danny to Old Harry’s Place, he didn’t want any witnesses. I smiled happily back at him, refusing to take the hint, and Danny was lost for a response. He wasn’t used to people he couldn’t intimidate with a look. The redhead tugged insistently at his arm.

  ‘This is the place I was telling you about, darling! They have the most marvellous things here! And you did promise to buy me something special …’

  Her voice was high and breathy, and her eyes were really wide, despite the weight of her false eyelashes. The smile she bestowed on Danny would have fooled anyone else, but I knew a honey trap when I saw one.

  Danny nodded reluctantly to the redhead and allowed her to lead him to the counter. I fell back a little more to give them some room. Danny glowered darkly at Harry, who merely nodded politely in return.

  ‘Mr Page … How may I be of service to such a distinguished gentleman as yourself?’

  ‘I remember this place from when I was a kid,’ Danny said slowly. ‘We were all too scared to come in here, because of what our parents told us about you. But in the end … it’s just somewhere else I could buy with the small change in my pocket.’

  The redhead pouted enticingly. ‘But they have such nice things here, sweetie …’

  She broke off as Harry held up a gun and showed it to Danny.

  ‘You can have this back when you leave, Mr Page.’

  Danny looked at him, shocked, and then his hand dived to where the gun should have been and came back empty.

  ‘How did you …?’

  Harry smiled briefly. ‘Do you really want to know?’

  Danny thought about it and decided that he didn’t. Harry made the gun disappear under his counter. Danny scowled at the redhead.

  ‘What do you want? And make it quick.’

  ‘I want something special, to show how much you love me,’ said the redhead. ‘You promised me a diamond ring!’

  I had to smile. I could see the honey trap closing, even if the mark couldn’t. The redhead was working for the wife, looking for hard evidence that her man was cheating on her. A man could lie about the lipstick on his collar, but not about the diamond ring on another woman’s finger. Harry reached under his counter, brought out a cardboard box and dumped it on the glass top. It was packed with gold and silver rings, some set with gems that glowed supernaturally bright, charged with such presence they seemed to fill the whole shop. Danny and the redhead stared into the box, mesmerized.

  ‘Rings,’ said Harry. ‘Invisibility rings, wishing rings, destiny rings; blessed and cursed. My very own lucky dip.’

  Danny raised his eyes to look at him. ‘Maybe some of the old stories are true after all.’

  The redhead was already picking rings out of the box and cooing over them. ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, sweetie …’

  ‘Whereas rubies are the kind of friend who calls you a slut behind your back, so they can steal your boyfriend,’ I said cheerfully.

  Danny glowered at me. ‘You. Disappear.’

  ‘Oh, you just carry on,’ I said. ‘Don’t mind me.’

  I moonwalked into the rear of the shop, deep enough into the shadows to conceal me, but still close enough to keep an eye on what was happening. Danny made a move to go after me, but the redhead quickly grabbed his arm.

  ‘Help me choose, sweetie. They all look so lovely!’

  Danny looked into the box, and his hand went straight to one particular ring. He held it up to the light so they could both study the heavy gold encrusted with diamonds.

  ‘Ooh …’ said the redhead. ‘I want that one, sweetie!’

  ‘An excellent choice, Mr Page,’ said Harry. ‘A destiny ring – for the man who’s going places. The stones were fashioned from fragments of the Mountain of Light, when Albert had it cut down as a present for Victoria.’

  ‘How much?’ said Danny.

  ‘The soul of your firstborn,’ said Harry. ‘Or the last ten years of your life. Special rings have special prices.’

  Danny gaped at him for a moment and then threw the ring back into the box. ‘Are you kidding me? This whole shop and everything in it isn’t worth that!’ He turned on the redhead viciously. ‘What kind of scam is this? You’re the one who insisted on coming here; what kind of game are you playing?’

  ‘I didn’t know!’ the redhead said quickly. ‘I’ll choose another ring, sweetie – something you can afford.’

  That was the wrong thing to say. Danny drew back his hand to hit her. And I hit the button on my pen. Time slammed to a halt, and Harry’s shop was suddenly suffused with a harsh crimson light. There was a feeling of dust falling endlessly and the sound you hear between heartbeats. I came forward out of the shadows, moved in behind Danny and pulled his trousers down. It took some effort to wrestle the rigid materials down around his ankles, and by the time I was done, I was getting dangerously short of breath. I looked at Harry, and he winked at me. Which should have been impossible, but that’s Harry for you.

  I slogged my way over to the front door and forced it open, and then went back to stand behind Danny. I hit the button on my pen and took a deep breath as Time started up again. Danny yelped with surprise as he saw where his trousers were, and forgot all about hitting the redhead. He bent over to pull up his trousers, and I kicked him solidly in the arse.

  Danny cried out and stumbled forward, off balance. He sounded more shocked than hurt. It had been a long time since anyone had dared treat him like that. I kicked his arse again. He staggered on, desperate not to fall flat on his face. One last kick was enough to launch him through the open door and out into the street. I slammed the door shut, turned around and smiled at the redhead.

  ‘Hello, Annie. It’s been a while.’

  ‘Not long enough,’ she said sharply, suddenly nothing like the airhead she’d been playing. ‘How did you manage that?’

  ‘All part of my new role,’ I said proudly. ‘I am now Gideon Sable, master thief!’

  Annie shook her head. ‘You always did have more ambition than sense.’

  I had to smile. ‘You’re the one who brought your mark to Harry’s. I’m sure the wife would have settled for any old ring.’

  She sniffed loudly. ‘Danny made a big thing about only getting me the best.’ She glared at Harry. ‘The prices have gone up since I was last here.’

  Harry shrugged. ‘He should have made the deal. A ring like that could have made him king of the world – for a time.’

  ‘The ring was for me!’ said Annie.

  Harry raised an eyebrow. ‘You think he would have let you keep it?’

  Annie turned her glare on me. ‘What are you doing back here, screwing up my life again?’

  I raised an eyebrow. ‘Ingratitude, thy name is woman. I just saved you from a beating.’

  ‘I could have handled him!’

  ‘Yeah, you probably could,’ I said. ‘But my way was funnier. Anyway! I’m here to offer you a real job.’

  ‘Of course,’ said Annie. ‘I should have known you wouldn’t just happen to be here at the same time as me. How did you find me?’

  ‘I stole a lucky charm from a scumbag banker, just an hour ago,’ I said. ‘I came here, and the charm arranged things so you’d be here, too.’

  Annie frowned. ‘But I talked Danny into bringing me here yesterday … long before you stole the charm!’

 
‘I know!’ I said cheerfully. ‘Freaky, isn’t it?’

  Annie looked at me suspiciously. ‘If you had something that powerful, what are you doing at Harry’s?’

  ‘I just swapped it for something far more useful,’ I said. ‘We need to talk, Annie. I’m putting a crew together, for the biggest heist ever.’

  The front door burst open as Danny Page came charging in. His trousers were back where they belonged, and his hands were clenched into fists. Annie moved quickly to stand behind me. Either so I could protect her or so I could soak up whatever violence was heading our way. I got ready to hit my pen again, but Harry just nodded to the stuffed grizzly bear by the door, and it reached out and grabbed hold of Danny. He cried out angrily as the heavy arms closed remorselessly around him, tried to fight his way free and found he couldn’t. The bear squeezed hard, until all the fight went out of Danny, and then threw him out on to the street again. The door quietly closed itself. The bear nodded to Harry and went back to being stuffed.

  ‘Thanks, Yogi,’ I said. I turned to Harry. ‘Is your back room available?’

  ‘Possibly,’ said Harry.

  I dropped an envelope full of cash on to the countertop, and Harry made it disappear. There’s only one back room at Old Harry’s Place, but somehow it’s always available for the right price.

  ‘Hold everything!’ said Annie. ‘I’m not going anywhere with you, Gideon, until I get some questions answered.’

  ‘If you want answers, we have to use the back room,’ I said reasonably. ‘Where we can be sure no one else might overhear them.’

  ‘Privacy is guaranteed, my children,’ said Harry, smiling avuncularly at us from his high seat. ‘You can say or do anything you like in my back room, confident that no one in this world or the next will be any the wiser. Just head on back and the room will find you.’

  Annie made a short exasperated sound and stalked off into the shadows. I hurried after her and we quickly left the regular shop behind. The stacks and shelves appeared to extend away on both sides until we seemed to be walking through a crowded warehouse. As though space itself had expanded, to make room for all the amazing things Harry had accumulated.

  We passed by a row of old-fashioned slot machines, and one after another they flashed their lights and rolled their counters, paying off big time in showers of money. The jangling coins piled up on the floor, but Annie just kept going, refusing to acknowledge anything was happening. The machines kept on trying to pay out even after they were empty.

  ‘This is why I’ve been reduced to working as a honey trap,’ said Annie, staring straight ahead so she wouldn’t have to look at me. ‘Every time I use my gift, it gets harder to shut it down. And sometimes it works whether I want it to or not. Still think I’m what you need for your crew, Gideon?’

  ‘I’ll always need you, Annie,’ I said.

  ‘You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still a damned fool.’

  A door appeared before us, blocking a narrow passageway lined with rows of fur coats made from the pelts of extremely rare species. The werewolf came with the head still attached as a hood, the yeti stank to high heaven, and the fur on the chupacabra was still moving. The door swung open as we approached, and Annie strode through without slowing. I gave the coats plenty of room and sauntered in after her.

  Harry’s back room was so small that only the table and two chairs kept me from confusing it with a closet. No windows, no nice pictures on the walls, and definitely no Wi-Fi. A single bare bulb supplied the only light. Once the door closed behind us, it felt as though we’d been cut off from the rest of the world. An unsettling feeling, even if it was what I was paying for. Harry made his back room available for secret meetings, plots and intrigues, and the occasional human sacrifice, which was why there was always plastic sheeting on the floor. You could say or do anything in this room, secure in the knowledge no one else would ever know. And many had.

  Annie sat down on one side of the table, and I sat down facing her. It seemed safest to keep a table between us, considering how we’d last parted. Annie fixed me with her best cold, unwavering stare.

  ‘All right,’ she said flatly. ‘Let’s talk. Starting with: how the hell did you become Gideon Sable?’

  ‘The original master thief is gone,’ I said. ‘I’ve taken over the name.’

  ‘You really think you can step into his boots?’ said Annie. ‘That man was a legend!’

  ‘So am I, now,’ I said. ‘And as far as anyone else knows, I always was.’

  Annie shook her head, hard enough to make the ringlets of her crimson wig dance. ‘You always did have ideas above your station.’

  ‘I can remember when you did, too.’

  I searched her face for even the smallest sign that she remembered how we used to feel about each other, but it could have been a complete stranger looking back at me. So I met her cold gaze with a calm, businesslike stare of my own. Because I needed Annie to believe I knew what I was doing. And yet … I couldn’t let it go.

  ‘Are you really still mad at me?’

  For a moment, she was actually too angry to speak, and then it all came spilling out.

  ‘Mad at you? Because you ran out on me after our last job – with all the money? I had to disappear into a hole and drag it in behind me, just to make sure no one could find me! I don’t hear a word from you in almost five years, and now you have the nerve to pop up out of nowhere and ask if I’m still mad at you? What do you think?’

  ‘I had to disappear,’ I said steadily. ‘People were looking for me. Someone talked; I never did find out who. I had to vanish completely before they found out about you. The real you.’

  Annie sat back in her chair and folded her arms tightly. ‘You always did have an answer for everything. But I don’t care any more. You’re wasting your charm on me, Gideon. I stopped believing in you a long time ago.’

  I didn’t say anything, letting the silence drag on until she couldn’t help but ask the next question.

  ‘What could be so important to bring you crawling out of the woodwork? And what makes you think I want to hear anything you have to say?’

  ‘I’m putting together a very special crew, for a really big heist,’ I said. ‘I have a patron, funding … and the kind of payoff you can retire on.’

  She didn’t quite laugh in my face. ‘Who would hire you for a job like that?’

  ‘Not me,’ I said. ‘Gideon Sable, master thief.’

  ‘You never learn,’ Annie said tiredly. ‘Every score was always going to be the biggest, every job a guaranteed success – right up to the point when it suddenly wasn’t. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just punch you in the face for old time’s sake, and walk out of here?’

  I met her gaze unflinchingly. ‘So you can go back to being a honey trap?’

  ‘A girl has to make a living,’ said Annie. ‘After what you did to me, I had to take what I could get.’

  ‘Then look on this as my chance to put things right,’ I said. ‘I have a plan, and a victim you’ll approve of. Let me give you your old life back.’

  ‘First rule of the con,’ said Annie. ‘If something seems too good to be true, the odds are it is. What’s the catch?’

  I grinned at her. ‘Are you kidding? We’re going to burgle the secret vault of the worst man in the world! The odds are we’ll all end up dead!’

  She smiled for the first time. ‘All right, I’ll bite. Who would we be stealing from?’

  ‘Fredric Hammer.’

  She sat up straight, her smile gone in a moment. ‘Damn you; I’m in. But only as a business partner, nothing more. Is that clear?’

  ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘Now, what’s going on with your gift?’

  ‘You remember how I acquired it,’ she said.

  I did. Basically, it was a love charm gone wrong. Annie stole the charm because it was so badly guarded it would have been a crime not to, but she didn’t have time to find the instructions on how to make it work. So it ended up making m
achines fall in love with her and want to do anything to please her.

  ‘Everything was fine when my gift could make cash machines empty themselves for me,’ said Annie. ‘Or persuade computers to tell me all their dirty little secrets. But down the years it’s become more and more difficult to control. Which is why I’m reduced to working jobs where I don’t have to rely on it.’

  ‘I did wonder why you never made more of yourself after we parted,’ I said.

  ‘I thought the same about you.’

  I smiled. ‘So you did think about me?’

  She didn’t smile back, but she didn’t look away. ‘You’re a hard act to forget, though God knows I’ve tried.’

  ‘We always were good for each other,’ I said.

  ‘You were always good for yourself.’

  ‘Can’t give me an inch, can you?’

  She raised a single painted eyebrow. ‘Would you?’

  ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘You know I always have a comeback up my sleeve.’

  ‘All right,’ Annie said resignedly. ‘What have you been doing since you abandoned me to the wolves?’

  ‘You weren’t the only one who lost everything,’ I said steadily. ‘I’ve had to be a whole bunch of people in the last few years, none of whom you’d have heard of, and I wasn’t happy being any of them. Until I lucked into the chance to become Gideon Sable.’

  ‘Don’t try to make me feel bad for you,’ said Annie. ‘Not after what you put me through.’

  I leaned forward across the table. I wanted to reach out and take her hands in mine, but she wasn’t ready for that yet.

  ‘We used to be so good at what we did, Annie. Taking on the bad guys and making them pay for all the pain they’d caused. Stealing from thieves, conning the con men, showing them what it felt like to be the victim. This is our chance to do that again.’

  She was already shaking her head. ‘We thought we could take on the whole world, but the world turned out to be tougher and crueller than we ever expected.’

  ‘This is our chance to get back in the big time,’ I said. ‘To prove ourselves, to ourselves. And become incredibly rich in the process, of course.’