The Best Thing You Can Steal Read online

  When I entered the hotel room, Hammer was standing in the exact same spot, as though he’d never left.

  ‘I still didn’t see any guards,’ I said.

  ‘Good,’ said Hammer. ‘That means they’re doing their job. Anathea!’

  His personal assistant entered the room, carrying two small wooden cases. She held one out to me, and I looked at Hammer.

  ‘All I needed was the name,’ he said. ‘After that, my people acquired the weapon for me.’

  ‘You have the Iscariot Device?’ I stared at the wooden case. It looked so ordinary to contain such a horror. I made no move to take it. ‘How …?’

  ‘Mr Hammer has always been able to suborn people to his will,’ Anathea said calmly. ‘In this case, by putting pressure on a certain Vatican Cardinal who had loved his fellow man not wisely, but too frequently. He agreed to smuggle the weapon out, in return for our keeping his secret.’

  ‘So all you have to do now is kill the angels,’ said Hammer. ‘Take their halos and bring them to me, and I will give you what you desire.’

  I just nodded. I believed all of this was possible because I needed to believe Hammer could give me back my wife. Nothing else mattered. Hammer gestured to Anathea, and she opened the case to show me a gleaming steel revolver with ivory-inlaid handles.

  ‘The Iscariot Device has taken many forms down the years,’ said Anathea, her voice carefully businesslike.

  ‘Take the gun,’ said Hammer. ‘Get the feel of it.’

  I took the Device out of its case and hefted it gingerly.

  ‘I don’t know anything about guns,’ I said.

  ‘The Device will do most of the work for you,’ said Anathea. ‘All you have to do is point it in the right direction.’

  ‘I thought it would feel … evil,’ I said.

  ‘It’s just a killing tool,’ said Hammer. ‘Anything else is in the heart of the one who uses it.’

  I put the gun in my coat pocket. It hung heavily at my side, as though reminding me of its presence. Anathea opened the other case. It contained a knife.

  ‘You’re going to need this,’ she said. ‘To cut the halos off the angels after you’ve killed them. It’s the Magdalene Blade – from Mr Hammer’s collection.’

  ‘And I want both the gun and the knife back after you’re finished with them,’ said Hammer.

  I took the knife out of its case. Just a standard steel blade and a bone handle yellowed and cracked with age. No carvings, etchings or adornments. Again, I didn’t feel anything when I held it.

  ‘Does the knife’s name have the same significance as the gun?’ I said finally.

  ‘According to the ancient parchment that came with the knife,’ Anathea said carefully, ‘it wasn’t the Roman soldier Longinus who pierced Jesus’ side with a spear as he hung on the cross. Mary Magdalene stabbed Jesus with her knife, as an act of mercy.’

  ‘As a result of which,’ said Hammer, ‘that blade can cut through anything.’

  I nodded and put the knife in another pocket. I looked at Hammer.

  ‘When I bring you the halos …’

  ‘You get your wife back,’ said Hammer. ‘Now, the angels will appear at the inn two months and four days from now.’

  ‘I know,’ I said. ‘I’ll be there.’

  ‘We’ll be waiting for you here,’ said Hammer. ‘And when I get what I want, you’ll get what you want.’

  A taxi delivered me to the right place, in plenty of time. When I entered the inn that was supposed to be almost two thousand years old, I was surprised to find it looked just like any other London pub. People were standing around, drinking and talking, and watching a football match on the television. The layout was exactly as described in the original document, and no one paid me any attention as I made my way to the side door that was exactly where it was supposed to be.

  A narrow stairway led me up to the next floor. I started up the bare wooden steps, my heart hammering painfully fast. The stairs brought me to another door, and a room with no windows, no furniture and only bare floorboards. All four walls were covered with line after line of writing, etched deep into the stone. It wasn’t in any language I recognized. I think now the lines formed a kind of spiritual Faraday cage, cutting the room off from the rest of the world. So that whatever happened inside it would remain a secret, known only to Heaven and Hell. I closed the door and sat down on the floor to wait.

  There was hardly any light, but somehow I could see perfectly clearly. No sound, apart from my own breathing. I had more than enough time to wonder if perhaps it was just a story, after all. But the Iscariot Device still weighed heavily at my side, as though impatient to be used.

  I didn’t need to look at my watch to know when it was midnight. A great sound struck in my soul, shuddering through me. I scrambled to my feet, looking wildly about me. I could feel the angels approaching, falling and rising into the material world. I could hear the flapping of great wings, like slow thunder.

  The angels appeared before me. I’d read as much as I could, trying to prepare myself, but I had no real idea what to expect. Just a vague notion that the angel would be a wonderful being with great feathered wings, a circle of light surrounding his head, while the demon would be all horns and teeth and blood-red skin, with massive batwings. But the angel and the demon were equally beautiful and equally disturbing. They both had the same perfect human form, and their faces were empty of any character I could hope to understand. Their wings were made of blinding light and utter darkness, stretching out to touch the walls. And their halos blazed on their heads like burning crowns – a fierce illumination for the angel, and darkness like a break in the world for the demon. Both angels smiled at me. Perfect love and perfect hatred, equally frightening.

  Their sheer presence was staggering, as though they weighed so heavily on the world that they could break it just by walking up and down in it. I wanted to fall on my knees before them, confess all my sins and beg their forgiveness. But then I thought of my wife and found I’d already drawn the Iscariot Device.

  I shot both of them in the forehead, the angel and the demon. They didn’t even cry out as their heads snapped back and they crumpled to the floor, suddenly stripped of all power and grace. I stood where I was, the gun in my hand, until I was sure neither of them was moving. And only then did I put away the Iscariot Device and kneel down beside the two bodies. I wanted to weep, but what I’d done was too big for that. I felt as if I’d just spat in the face of the infinite.

  The wings of light and darkness had disappeared, along with the burning halos, leaving only two human shapes with no hair and no eyebrows, no nipples or navels or genitals – not even any fingernails. I tried to tell myself this meant I hadn’t killed anything human, but that just made it worse. All that remained of their halos was a silver circlet around their foreheads, sunk deep into the flesh. I tried to remove the angel’s halo, but it wouldn’t budge. I took out the Magdalene Blade and forced the tip underneath the circlet. I had to dig and prise and carve the halo away from the angel’s head, finally using brute force to tear it from the torn flesh. By the time I was done, I was sweating and breathing hard, my hands shaking from more than the effort. I braced myself and turned to the demon.

  I finally put the Blade away and got to my feet. And then I cried out in shock as the halos disappeared from my hands and reappeared wrapped around my wrists. They fitted exactly, and the silver burned coldly against my flesh, like shackles binding me to some unguessable course. I tried to tear them off, but they wouldn’t budge. I wondered if I’d have to use the Magdalene Blade on myself before I could present the halos to Hammer.

  And then I felt a terrible gaze turning in my direction. Great Intelligences, from Above and Below, were becoming aware that something unprecedented and unforgivable had taken place during the agreed truce. I fled from the room, down the stairs and back through the crowded pub. No one so much as glanced at me. I ran out of the pub and on through the streets, heading for the hotel whe
re Hammer was waiting. I could still feel that terrible gaze trying to find me and failing. I thought the Iscariot Device was hiding me. It wasn’t until later that I discovered it was the halos.

  I wondered what would happen to the bodies. Would new agents be sent from Above and Below to clean up the mess I’d made? And what did happen to angels when they died? Would their spirits return home, no longer contained by their material forms? Or had the Iscariot Device killed their spirits, too? What had I done?

  I kept running, and all through the busy streets of London no one turned to look at me.

  In the hotel room, Hammer and Anathea were waiting. They looked up sharply as I crashed through the door.

  ‘Where are my halos?’ said Hammer.

  I showed him the two silver circlets on my wrists, and he frowned.

  ‘Not what I expected …’

  ‘Cut from the heads of dead angels,’ I said shortly, as I struggled to keep from crying or laughing. ‘Give me my payment, and I’ll give you the halos.’

  Hammer gestured to Anathea, and she came forward with a large suitcase. She opened it, and it was packed full of money. I looked at Hammer.

  ‘What’s this?’

  ‘Your payment,’ said Hammer. ‘Enough money for you to make a new life anywhere in the world.’

  ‘I told you, I don’t want money!’ I said. ‘I want what you promised me!’

  Hammer laughed at me. ‘I don’t have anything to bring the dead back to life. And if I don’t, nobody has. Take the money as a kill fee and give me the halos.’

  The Magdalene Blade was suddenly in my hand. Hammer stopped smiling. I advanced slowly on him, and he backed away. Anathea retreated with him, her gaze fixed on the Blade.

  ‘That’s my knife,’ said Hammer. ‘It belongs in my collection.’

  ‘You have no idea what it was like in that room, what I went through to get the halos,’ I said in a voice so harsh I didn’t recognize it as my own. ‘I’ve put Heaven and Hell on my trail for ever, and you think you can buy me off with money? You want this knife, Hammer? Then come to me and I’ll give it to you.’

  Hammer started to say something, but what he saw in my face stopped him. He should have known: after killing two angels, a man was nothing. Hammer reached inside his jacket, pulled out a gun and shot me in the face.

  The halos flashed up my arms and covered me from head to toe in a moment, like a second skin made of blinding light and terrible darkness, split right down the middle. The bullet couldn’t touch me. Hammer slowly lowered his gun, while Anathea made frightened mewling noises. She couldn’t even bear to look at me directly.

  ‘Tell me,’ I said to Hammer. ‘Tell me what this means.’

  And he was so shocked and scared that he did.

  ‘The halos armour the angels, so nothing can harm them while they take on material form. That’s why I wanted them. Because a man armoured by angels’ halos has nothing to fear from any mortal enemy.’

  ‘Why didn’t the halos protect the angels from me?’ I said.

  ‘Because you had the Iscariot Device,’ said Hammer.

  I nodded slowly. ‘Then there’s nothing to stop me from taking my revenge on you.’

  Hammer grabbed Anathea and threw her at me. She clung to me desperately, and while I was distracted, Hammer darted past me and ran out of the room. All I could think of was going after him before he got away, but Anathea was still holding on to me and getting in my way. So I cut her open from gut to throat and threw her aside. She sprawled on the floor, unable to scream because her mouth was choked with blood. I didn’t care. I was already turning away, to go after Hammer.

  I could hear him on the stairs below me, but by the time I reached the lobby he was already disappearing through the front door. I charged out into the street and found it packed with Hammer’s guards. Anonymous men in anonymous suits, carrying all kinds of weapons. They saw me in my armour, dripping with Anathea’s blood, and every single one of them opened fire on me. For all the good it did them.

  Past the guards, I could see Hammer, running for his life. I started after him, and the guards crowded together to block my way. So I cut them down and sliced them open. They died shooting me at point-blank range and clawing desperately at my armour with their bare hands. Blood spurted on the air and ran in rivers down the street. I killed them all and kicked the bodies out of my way as I hurried after Hammer. But the guards had slowed me down enough that when I finally reached the end of the street and rounded the corner, there was no sign of Hammer anywhere. He’d made his escape, and I had no idea where to look for him.

  And that was the beginning of my new existence, as the Damned.

  FOUR

  The Lost Children

  The Hungry Ones

  ‘If Hammer had held up his end of the bargain,’ said the Damned, ‘if he’d actually returned my wife to me, I like to believe I would have gone back to that room at the inn and surrendered myself to whatever was there. For judgement and punishment. There might have been mercy because I did it all for my wife … Instead, I damned myself for all time, for nothing.’

  Lex stopped talking and turned away, staring off into the darkness. Perhaps so I wouldn’t see what was in his face. I looked at the silver circlets on his wrists with a new appreciation, and thought about how much Lex’s voice had changed as he told his story – perhaps because he was remembering, just for a while, the quiet academic and scholar he used to be.

  ‘What happened to the gun and the knife?’ I said finally.

  Lex turned back to me, his face as cold and implacable as ever. ‘I put them in long-term pawn, with Old Harry. The one place I could be sure Fredric Hammer couldn’t get to them. And the one person I could trust not to be tempted to use them.’ He stopped and frowned. ‘Always assuming he is a person …’

  ‘If I get you your chance to hurt Hammer,’ I said, ‘will that satisfy you?’

  ‘No,’ said Lex. ‘But the immortality drug should be enough to keep me going until I can find a way to kill him.’

  ‘And then what?’ I said.

  ‘I could live for ever, knowing he was dead,’ said Lex. ‘Or I could burn beside him in Hell and be content.’

  I had no answer to that. But then, he wouldn’t have cared if I had. He looked at me thoughtfully.

  ‘You’re not the original Gideon Sable.’

  ‘How can you be sure?’ I said. ‘I could have been.’

  ‘Because I’ve met him,’ said Lex. ‘He came down here some time back, to tell me he’d found a way out of my being Damned, and all I had to do was help him steal it from Hammer.’ He smiled briefly. ‘Everyone thinks they can manipulate me, just by using that name. And, of course, they’re right. I told Gideon I was in, but he never came back. And now here you are, offering me the very same deal.’

  ‘I’m not going to disappear on you,’ I said steadily. ‘And I can deliver what I promise.’

  ‘Then I’m in,’ said Lex.

  ‘You don’t mind that I’m trading on a dead man’s reputation?’

  ‘He’s not dead,’ said Lex.

  That stopped me. ‘Then where is he?’

  ‘Trapped in the house where Time stands still,’ said Lex. ‘He loved the wrong woman.’

  ‘Don’t we all?’ I said.

  He just looked at me.

  ‘Let’s be clear about this,’ I said. ‘If you’re going to be part of my crew, I’m the one in charge. Because I’m the man with the plan.’

  ‘I’ll follow your orders,’ said Lex. ‘Right up to the point where I don’t.’

  I nodded. That was as much as I’d hoped for.

  ‘Find some clothes,’ I said. ‘I can’t be seen with you looking like that. We need to appear professional.’

  ‘There’s bound to be something here I can use,’ said Lex, looking vaguely round at the discarded clothes littering the platform. I considered the state of most of them and suppressed a shudder.

  ‘Try to find something that doesn’t ree
k of sweat. Or sin.’

  ‘Picky picky,’ said Lex.

  I gave him Annie’s new address and the time to join us that evening.

  ‘Why the delay?’ said Lex.

  ‘Because I still have to convince two more specialists to join my crew.’

  ‘Anyone I’d know?’

  ‘The Ghost.’

  He nodded. ‘That makes sense.’

  ‘And the Wild Card.’

  ‘You be careful around him,’ said Lex. ‘He’s dangerous.’

  And then he broke off to stare intently at the tunnel mouth I’d arrived through.

  ‘What is it?’ I said quietly.

  ‘You were followed,’ said Lex.

  ‘Damn,’ I said. ‘I thought I’d left them behind.’

  ‘They’re not here for you,’ he said. ‘Another reason for my little gathering was that the constant noise helped keep the Lost Children at bay.’

  I strained my eyes against the shadows filling the tunnel mouth, and the darkness stared back at me, giving nothing away. My heart was beating uncomfortably fast. I wanted to get the hell out of there, but I couldn’t while the Damned was still standing his ground.

  ‘How many do you think are there?’ I said, careful to keep my voice calm.

  ‘More than I’ve ever seen assembled in one place.’

  His gaze was steady, his voice entirely untroubled. I swallowed hard. My mouth had gone dry.

  ‘You can see in the dark?’

  ‘The dark keeps no secrets from me,’ said Lex.

  ‘I always thought they were mindless,’ I said, just to be saying something. ‘Why do they want you so badly?’

  ‘As long as I have the halos, I stink of the Hereafter,’ said Lex. ‘And the Lost Children want that more than anything, even though they no longer remember why.’

  ‘But they won’t come into the light,’ I said, trying hard to sound positive. ‘They never come into the light. Everyone knows that.’

  ‘Everyone is wrong,’ said Lex.